Here she is again, writing - again and trying to make sense of this motherhood journey, but this time, we are talking about something a little deeper.. ANXIETY. 

Overstimulated, Defeated, Tensed all the time, Exhausted

I know somewhere in the midst of parenting and life, YOU have experienced this horrible thing called anxiety.. AHH.. that word just gives me goosebumps. I know our children can pick up on these moments too, they can either see it in our face, hear it in our tones, the way we  fidget around. At the end of the day it's like a germ it is in the air, but in the air in our homes.

"HEY, stop that"

"LAWD, another opened water just sitting there for hours"

"Another milk spill after eating"  

"What's wrong now"

"Leave each other alone"

These are things us, as moms have said so many times and at this point we may not even know we are doing it. I'm guilty just as much as you are, but sometimes the anxiety rears up so bad that it is like it is now in this programmed cycle we have gotten ourselves in, and it is definitely not how we all envisioned motherhood to be but its life, and that is just apart of our lives now but it can be broken so I've heard, not there yet, my friend. Still the Anxious Mama over here. 

Sometimes we try to focus on the mess around us..  like the toys in the floor that have been their since yesterday morning or the TV that is on the same YouTube shorts that keeps replying as you try to work from home. We put labels on ourselves and look in the mirror and start to train our brains to believe we are this Anxious Mama that Is in this cycle that we don't want to be in. 

Our minds are like our own little gallery, it stores the good memories and thoughts, but it also stores up the bad memories and thoughts that we try and try to run from but they remind us daily how we cant run from it. Reminds us that we might be failing in this way or that way even when we know we are not, it is those intrusive lying thoughts that makes us want to jump and believe them or if someone has told us numerous of times that we aren't a good mother, etc because you choose not to stay in that relationship or give another chance at it so you choose peace and co parenting, we still get reminded by that and start believing that and then next thing we know we are sitting in our closet with a whole Ben &Jerry ice cream  with our very anxious self and trying to hide from the noise of the cloudy lies that our minds are trying to entertain us with. 

DO we really think sitting in our hideaway spot really helps? 

or does it give us more anxiety? 

Anxiety is a back stabbing bi...

When I sit back and really start to feel the surge of the slope of my anxiety stirring up I then can tell that my anxiety is here and its not going anywhere anytime soon, this my mama friends is AWARENESS , and that helps me push myself to my healing and feeling like myself again. 

Mark Twain said " I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of them never happened" 

GUYS! this quote right here hit in the core.. I literally read it over and over again.. It's true. the worries I have worried about since 2021, is still intrusive thoughts and hasn't happened. the lies that are making you feel like you're stuck and in that survival mode are taking over your nervous system and affecting everything. 

My kids, are the light of my life, watching them laughing and dancing together and enjoy their imagination whether its putting on a talent show or a concert . They are truly free, not a worry or care in the world (besides what snack they are going to eat next) HAHA but they are soaking up every moment of childhood, no expectations in sight, they precious souls are blithe,  not tired like mine. 

Instead of fixating on the amounts of clothes in the laundry hamper or the toys placed everywhere in their room, the sticky finger prints on the windows that can get cleaned, I NEED and am working on throwing out all the absurd expectations.

and simply just let it go and hit a rest phase and heal my mind, weary soul and enjoy the hectic moments.

It takes a lot for an anxious mind to heal and grow,  I am actively in therapy and I will say my therapist is really good and gets deep into our session which gets my mind thinking and really brings things out I'm not use too, which is very helpful and effective. I use to think therapy was a sign of weakness but instead its a sign of bravery and growth. yes, I'm in these sessions for me foremost, but I'm actively in there for my daughters. To be a better mama for them that they deserve to have throughout their lives. Once in a while its time for you to do something that will actually make a change and hey mama friends its okay if you had to just up your dosage of Lexapro or just giving the anxiety medicine a start, everyone is somewhere different in their  anxiety journey and that is okay.  

I believe with the consistent practice and mindful mediation and intentions that we have I truly believe, we can break these cycles and chains that have held us into this anxious, nervous, fearful downfall of our lives. I am too learning how to get through it daily and I can't wait to have my CHIP like those one you get after someone has overcome sobriety, yeah my CHIP for overcoming Anxiety. 

WE CAN TALK BACK TO OUR ANXIETY, ITS OKAY TO DO THAT

WE can take back our life and our power and true happiness back and overcome ANXIETY

We all may deal with anxiety in our own way, whether its social, health, finance, etc type of anxiety, we ourselves  are NOT anxious mamas, I am NOT an anxious mama. WE just deal with anxiety that makes us feel anxious in this phase of our lives being a mama.

Just sitting  back and watching our beautiful creation we made,  our children they can teach us how to be more intentional, present, use our imaginations, and throw out all the expectations and just live in the moment and not  in our LYING mind that is 99% wrong. 

Just embrace the moment and sit alone and just close your eyes and picture who you truly want to be.

To all my beautiful mama friends out there struggling with anxiety like me, let them play with the toys around the house, stop checking your vitals all day, let them be wild and free and lets watch them and learn how to be free again. 

-see you later 

don't forget to like comment and share!!

follow my social platforms!!!